


Miss You.

by lavenderhoneymndes



Category: Shawn Mendes (Musician)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, F/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:14:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22296880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderhoneymndes/pseuds/lavenderhoneymndes
Summary: You were never too good at staying apart.
Relationships: Shawn Mendes/Reader, Shawn Mendes/You
Kudos: 5





	Miss You.

Shawn promised.

He promised he’d never hurt you. That he’d never make you feel like how your boyfriends in the past did, but he lied. You couldn’t decide which hurt more, the fact that he was with someone else, or that he tried to justify it.

‘Nothing happened. It was just talking and a drink, that’s all.’ But it was ‘just talk’ for nearly two months.

When he made his confession - through tears - he packed himself a bag and left you alone in your apartment. You’re not sure where he was staying, and as angry as you were with him you worried.

He gave you a few days to heal if you could call it that, before he was standing in your doorway, eyes pleading with you to let him in.

“Can I come in and talk?”

“Anything you have to say to me, you can say it right here.” Your voice was cold. Not angry, you were way past that stage. It was empty. There was nothing left, you’d cried all the tears you had, screamed into every pillow of the house. There was nothing left to feel other than empty.

“If I could go back, I would just walk away. But I didn’t, and I’m sorry.”

You can’t even bring yourself to look at him, eyes staring right behind him down the hall. Because if you looked at him you’d change your mind. But then you remember that you didn’t do this. This was on him.

“I know you hate me, and you have every right to. But I need you to know that I love -.”

“If you did then you wouldn’t have done what you did Shawn.”

“I get that it means nothing to you now but, you’re everything to me. I love you so much, and I hate myself for hurting you.”

Again you giving him nothing. The only change in you is that you’re now leaning against the door frame, and changed your gaze from the wall behind him to your feet.

“I guess I’ll go I just - I wanted to give this to you, ” he reaches into his back pocket and holds out a small note, with frayed edges. It’s from his journal. It’s such a silly thing to notice, but that’s how it always was with Shawn. The two of you notice the smallest things about each other.

Which made it all the more painful that you didn’t see this coming.

“Um, you don’t have to read it now. Just - whenever you’re ready.”

….

The note sat in your bedside drawer for days, haunting you. You swore you weren’t going to read it because there was no point. There was nothing he could do to change your mind. He couldn’t sweet-talk his way out of this one.

But then one night you found an old picture of the two of you while clearing out your photos. It was a candid of your friends' wedding reception. One of your other friends at the table snapped it and sent it to you. It was taken just as he whispered ‘can’t wait for that to be us’ to you. There was nothing in his eyes but complete adoration, and you had the widest grin on your face.

It was in that moment when you couldn't bring yourself to delete the picture, that you reached into your nightstand and grabbed the note.

‘Hi, honey.

I know this letter has been sitting in a drawer for a while, but I’m glad you’re reading it now...even if you don’t finish the whole thing. I’m happy that you’re giving me the chance. I fucked up, and there’s nothing I can do to take it back. But I miss you. I probably don’t have a right, being as I did this to myself...to you. But I do. You’re the only girl woman I’ve ever loved, and the only one I ever will.

I’m not even sure what it is I’m trying to say. Just that I love you I guess -’

The rest of the letter was just a stream of consciousness. Shawn always rambled when he was flustered and apparently he did it in writing too. But it all came back to one thing.

He missed you.

You folded up the letter, a few tears falling onto the sheets of paper. There was a battle within yourself for a moment, to try and keep yourself from making a terrible mistake. You always make a joke out of girls that took their boyfriends back after cheating. Making comments about how stupid they look, or how they should know they deserve better.

But Shawn was it for you. You knew it from the moment you met him. And as much as you wanted to shake that. To walk away, you couldn't. So you picked up the phone, and without a second thought hit the call button.

It only rang once, and before he had a second to speak, or even process that you’d called him, you spoke.

“I miss you.”


End file.
